You're just AWESOME

I am not a parent. I will probably never be one. But I was a kid who was parented well, so that is some kind of experience.

Many of my friends are parents. They're good parents in that they try. They try to impose boundaries and discipline, while making sure the kids understand why. They try to impart the value of things to their kids, and more importantly, the value of people. They reward and praise and protect and cuddle and snuggle, and discipline and explain and help. They take an interest in their kids. That's parenting.

You know what isn't parenting? Letting your 5 year old have a tantrum in a trolley because she wants a sweetie and you're not getting one. Better yet, when she starts hitting you with her fists, you don't immediately haul her out of the shop for a little chat, you just put your arms around her. If I had ever acted like that with SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed - aka my Awesome Mom), I would still be grounded to this day.

Something else that isn't parenting, is giving your child absolutely everything they ask for, no matter what it is. Why does a 7 year old need a Blackberry? Why does a 13 year old need R5 000 jeans? How are they ever going to appreciate the value of money, and the satisfaction of "I earned this myself" if you just spoon feed them everything?

Discipline is not abuse. Discipline does not equal spanking. Discipline is enforcing that this is the rule, and this is why you follow it. Take away the internet, the computer, all gaming devices, TV, non-school books, social life etc. Have them volunteer their time somewhere like an old age home or an animal shelter. Have them earn back their luxuries.

Don't look at your little 5 year old with pride and say "Oh s/he's just a child" while they're pushing around the other kids. In 8 years, they'll be teenagers, and then you'll say "I don't know what I did wrong, s/he won't listen!". And then a few years from then, you'll be sitting in a court where your child is being tried for shoplifting/armed theft/assualt/murder/rape/etc and weep and wail and claim that "S/he's a good person! S/he's a GOOD PERSON!"

They're NOT. And it's mostly your fault for being a shitty parent. Why would they follow the law when you taught them that there's no consequences for breaking your rules? Why would they have consideration for other people when you taught them that their needs supersede all others?

So man the fuck up, put on your big girl panties, and parent.