Tuesday 11 February 2014

Gender Hypocrisy Pt 2




When we're kids, there are certain societal rules that have to be followed. Boys are not allowed to cry ever. Girls are never allowed to lose their tempers.

Crying is seen a form of weakness - but it's ok for girls to cry. Anger is seen a form of strength - but it's not ok for girls to show anger. Frankly, I think it's ridiculous. If you're sad because your girlfriend dumped you, or you lost your favourite CD or family member died, you should be able to feel grief and sadness and express it. Boys who are told to "man up" and "be a man" are being emotionally stunted and damaged. Girls who are told "that's not ladylike" and "be a lady" are also being emotionally stunted and damaged. Feel what you need to feel, bottling things up will never result in unicorns and rainbows.

It's rough being a girl, since you're regarded as a physical commodity. Women are traded and bartered like livestock. In some cultures, if you find out you're pregnant with a girl, you do your best to get rid of the fetus or kill the baby. We have to be chaste and sweet, but if we ACT chaste and sweet, we're called names. For example, catcalling in the street - if you ignore the harassing comments, you get called a frigid bitch, or worse. If you give them a smile, it eggs them on. If you turn down a suitor, you get called slut, whore, bitch, etc. But if you date everyone that asks you, you're a slut, a whore, easy etc.

It's probably just as rough being a boy, but since I'm not a boy, I can't draw on any personal experiences to underline that statement.

Things that are considered "girly":
Art
Dancing
Music
Cooking
Sewing
Designing
Nursing
Waitressing
Gymnastics
Figure skating
Raising children
Dieting
Love stories
Long hair

So apparently men aren't allowed to be nurturing and creative and expressive.

Things that are considered "manly":
Bodybuilding
Sports
Guitar
Bringing home the bacon
Break dancing
Being a doctor
Hard physical labour
Beer
Short hair
Tattoos
Fighting
Being in charge/being the boss

So apparently women aren't allowed to be providers and strong and assertive.

Isn't that ridiculous? Justin Timberlake is a dancer and singer, and a world wide sex symbol. Chef Ramsay is very highly regarded even though he's doing the "female" job of getting in the kitchen and making a sandwich. Rick Moranis quit acting to raise his children after his wife passed away, and he's universally admired for that. And so on and so forth. Why society feels the need to label activities as gender appropriate is beyond me.

My highschool was rather forward thinking in many ways, but when it came to gender, it was a little stalled. When I was in matric, the girls petitioned to be able to wear the same grey pants during winter that the boys did. The headmaster denied it, saying that "the pants are not ladylike". But having your dress blown up around your waist is? Girls weren't allowed to do woodwork either - not that I specifically wanted to, but it would've been nice to have the choice.

Monday 10 February 2014

Gender Hypocrisy Pt 1


As kids, we're all told we can be who we want to be, do what we want to do, the world is our oyster (or shellfish of choice).

And yet, from the second we're born, the vast majority of us are immediately pigeon-holed due to what's between our legs. Baby girls get pink and yellow nurseries with birds and bunnies and dolls. Baby boys get blue and green nurseries with cars and spaceships. Baby girls get little dresses and babygrows, and baby boys get dungarees and onesies. Never mind the fact that just over 100 years ago, blue was considered "soft and feminine" and pink was "stronger and therefore masculine", or that boys and girls both wore dresses until they reached schooling age.

As a little girl, you played with dolls and my little ponies, kitchen sets and jewellery sets. Because why would a GIRL ever want to play with cars or mechano or lego? Why would she ever want to try and build something interesting when there's fake makeup to play with? Why would she ever want to play with something that also develops her mind, and doesn't emphasis her looks?

As a little boy, you played with guns and GI Joe, mechano and doctor kits. Because why would a BOY ever want to play house or dress up? Why would a boy ever want to do something like pretend to be a dad when there's killing games to play?

Apparently it's more acceptable for a boy to play with a male "action figure" and simulate death and fighting, than to play with a Barbie and simulate a domestic setting. I wonder how the fact of playing with a feminine simulacrum would "cause" gayness, as some people seem to think?

Why is it that only girls can play at being nurturing and loving and caring, and only boys can play at adventuring and building and fighting?