Dating after 30

So, as previously mentioned, AsshatExHusband and I split up over a year ago. So obviously, I've been dating.

Being that I work from home, and going out by yourself (as a female) is dodgy and dangerous, I ended up using Tinder to find dates.

I have met some...interesting characters. I briefly dated someone ten years younger than me. He was fun but...I mean, he'd never watched Gummi Bears! Or MacGuyver! It could never have worked.

There was a girl who had serious potential (entertainment lawyer who worked for TIM FUCKING MINCHIN, into musicals and super funny), but for no reason she just stopped chatting to me before we could meet up :( .

There was a divorced dad who had two little girls, and he was a little too much into WOO for me.
For the uninitiated, WOO is when you buy everything that Food Babe says (i.e. if a ten year old can't pronounce it, you shouldn't put it into your body. Ok, so I shouldn't put Dihydrogen monoxide into my body, or as it's otherwise known, WATER), chemicals are bad (never mind that EVERYTHING IS FUCKING CHEMICALS), etc . Plus, he kissed like a 12 year old - all tongue. Seriously. So much tongue. Bleh.

There were a few Tinder matches that never got further than random chatting. One chap was clearly into negging. Negging is when you pay someone a compliment that is actually an insult, for example:
"That dress is lovely, it would look better if you lost a few pounds."
Clearly it didn't work on me. I mean, I give myself enough negative talk without having to accept it from some random person that doesn't even know me. And then the guy who gave me the line "nice guys always come last." I have no time for that - that smacks of the type of guy who complains that he's "friendzoned". Dude, women are not machines that you put niceness into and get sex in return.

Another chap had potential, as he was super into books and movies, and we had some awesome conversations about both. But for some reason he got cold feet about a week after our first date, and called it off. Which is fine, I was hardly expecting to marry him and bear his spawn, but I did enjoy the stimulating conversations we had.

I did get one good chap from Tinder - the aforementioned Beardyman. He's a big animal lover (plus), a musician (plus), loves reading (PLUS), can actually cook (plus) and has a very naughty smile.  He doesn't think he's smart, but he is. And an absolute gentleman to boot - we've been dating just over 3 months and he still opens doors for me. Something, incidentally, that Ex never did.

He's totally cool with the fact that I'm a massive dork - in fact, for my birthday, he got me TWO JRR Tolkien books (the Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales), and loves The Fifth Element nearly as much as I do. I like this one, so I think I'll keep him around.

Where I've been

Ok, I've not been having a bubble bath in a forest. I don't get that, by the way. I mean, hello. BUGS. MANY BUGS. How relaxing can a bath be when a centipede lands in your cleavage???

I haven't posted in a very long time. My bad. So here's what's been going on for the last while.

Antisocial Husband is now AsshatExhusband. We still work together, and are totally amicable. Apparently splitting up amicably is a foreign thing, when I consider how many people have commented about how "adult" we're being. I'm over 30, I don't have time for drama, and plus we had a prenuptial contract which is SUPER AWESOME, I cannot recommend them enough. Having a prenup doesn't mean you're planning on splitting - because it can protect you during the marriage as well. I mean, if I'd suddenly developed a gambling problem, the prenup would have prevented debt collectors from coming after Ex's stuff to pay off my nonsense.

Did he break my heart? Yup. Did he destroy me? Nope. In fact, what with the benefit of hindsight, splitting up was the best thing to do, because we were growing apart. If he hadn't done it last year, I probably would have done it at some point in the future. I spent ten years with him, and I have learned a lot in those ten years.EDITED TO ADD: I recently found out that AsshatExhusband cheated on me and left me for the woman he was cheating on me with. I asked him numerous times if he was leaving me for someone else, and he said no.

Thankfully I've been lucky in that my friends and family have been super amazing and supportive. A good emotional support structure is worth more than one can think, and my loved ones have been madly brilliant.

I'm now living in a new place, with housemates. And the new place didn't have internet for nearly a year, which is a big part of my excuse for not blogging.

I'm also doing belly dancing. And apparently I'm pretty good at it, which was a massive shock to me. I mean, I'm the whitest person you'll meet when it comes to dancing. I have all the rhythm of a dead squirrel.

Let's see, what else...

Oh! I'm dating a rather lovely man :) Beardyman is rather smart, very sweet and has three dogs that he loves. Hopper loves him too (happily!) and his dogs seem to like me too :D. We also rescued a kitty. I'm not a cat person...well I wasn't a cat person. I am one now it seems! We have a lot in common (including being incredibly stubborn), and enough differences to make things interesting. He plays guitar (squeee!) and can draw and cook and gives pretty good massages. So I think I'll let him live ;)

I have to tell you, getting back into the dating world after the age of 30 is weird. WEIRD. You either get dudes that are looking for something to stick their dick into, or they have way more baggage than you do. And of course, most guys my age and above who are single tend to have kids, which is an emotional minefield. I take my hat off to people who have successful relationships not only with their partners, but their partners' kids and ex-partners. Because yikes.

Canada was lucky enough to get a visit from me this year as well, and it was brilliant to spend time with my parents. Did some cooking, a little sight seeing, lots of kak praat (talking nonsense for my non SA readers), and catching up.

Later dudes. I'm gonna try and post semi-regularly again.