Well in that case

I'd give birth to friggin geniuses.

So, as has previously been established, I'm female, married and in my early thirties. The idea of popping out a demon spawn has crossed my mind more than once. I was rabidly broody after turning 30, and then completely lost interest.

I think I could be a good mom. Kind of.I mean, I turned out good. As a child I was a veritable angel. I always listened to my parents, got straight As, never gave them a minute of worry and...

What's that noise?
...
Dad?
...
DAD?! Are you laughing?!
...
I was too an amazing and obedient kid! You're old, your memory is obviously playing tricks on you...

Anyway

I don't think Antisocial Husband and I would be horrible parents. We were both raised with a good understanding of what discipline is, I'm quite nurturing (just ask my friends), we're reasonably intelligent...

When I look at friends with kids (one has triplets. Triplets!), and, barring when their kids are ill, they love being parents. Their kids are cute, well-adjusted, smart, funny little human beings, and while as parents they've had to make sacrifices, they don't seem to mind.

Both ASH and I have twins on both sides of the family, so the chance of doubles is pretty high. I don't know if I could handle two mini-me's. ASH reckons if we get twins, we sell one - I've suggested keeping it for spares*.

I don't want to raise a crotch-dropping. Those are the kids you see running amok while the parent listelessly says "No Suzee. Don't do that Suzee. Mommy will get angry Suzee", and the kid ignores them because they know that Mommy won't do a damn thing. 

Honestly, I don't know if I will have kids. Maybe one day. Maybe not. If we leave it too long, we can always adopt.

Or get more dogs.

*This is obviously sarcasm. If you don't get it, you're reading the wrong blog.

The night Metallica rocked my soul

(Pic courtesy of my very talented friend, Jean Pierre Morne Allers)

I'm writing this on Sunday, the day after the Johannesburg Metallica concert. My muscles hurt, my ears are ringing, and I'm so hoarse I sound like I should be working on one of those phone-sex lines.

This was one of the highlights of my life - I've always wanted to see Metallica live, but couldn't afford the tickets back in '08. Antisocial Husband, Evil Pickle and her boyfriend Metalsaur and I went. It was awesome.

Two negatives:

Why 2 opening acts? The first one's timing was off, and the second one was...a little meh, I'm not going to lie.

Secondly, after Pestroy (2nd act) was done, it literally took over an hour for Metallica to take the stage. I think I saw some people leave out of sheer annoyance...

Then Metallica came on. The crowd went NUTS. We were no longer individual people, just one seething organism pulsing to the beat of Metallica's awesomeness. There was bouncing.  There was headbanging. Thousands of fists in the air brandishing the horns. The sound was beyond incredible. The pyrotechnics were nearly a show by themselves!

"One" live literally moved me to tears. The studio version is powerful, but live, it becomes visceral and emotional and real. James roared and screamed and pleaded and fought and it was insane. The whole set list was pretty awesome, and just the experience of getting to sing along with one of my favourite bands live blew my tiny mind.

Kirk showed off his superior guitar skills many times, putting many of the air-guitarists around me to shame. Lars beat the crap out of his drums, but one could tell he doesn't have the same stamina as he used to have.
I didn't really like Robert when he first joined Metallica, but I really warmed to him with his performance last night. He had a solo that just hammered home how sexy a bass guitar is.

In summation: Metallica was so awesome, that they made me grow balls, then rocked them off.

\m/

PS Foo Fighters? Please do some gigs here. I could just dissolve into a puddle of happy mush if you did... < 3

A musical break

Today is the day for some music. Because it's Friday, payday, and tomorrow I'm going to Metallica \m/

For your listening pleasure, I present: Songs About Friday:

 

I know you're expecting a certain...piece by a young lady. And the answer to that is:

NO! It's a MUSICAL break, dammit!

Happy Friday! <3 br="">

Sex!

Sex sells. There is absolutely no doubt about it. And, depending on the product and how it's done, I have zero problem with it.

But some ads go past sexy and go straight through to creepy. Take these ads for example (NSFW!!!). A couple skirt the line, but number 8 makes my skin crawl. I don't know who directed that photo shoot, but the model looks distinctly unhappy, and I fail to see how parted thighs are an appropriate way of announcing that a new branch has opened.

I think also the fact that the models look like barely-legal teens in a bad seventies soft-porn photo shoot doesn't help. And then number 21 - what the hell do the sex faces have to do with her socks?

Sex in advertising is a double edged sword - on the one hand, if it's done right, you get a pretty good response to your product. On the other, if it's done wrong, you're remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Personally, I like it when it's cheeky, suggestive and a little funny, like this one:

It's too easy to go for the obvious schtick. In any form of advertising, I admire originality and humour.

Does advertising really affect my brand loyalty? Maybe. I don't have a TV so I don't get bombarded with local TV commercials, and I have adblock on my browser as well. I pretty much ignore the ads on Facebook (donate my eggs? REALLY facebook??)...so I don't know. Most of the brands I go for are because they give good service (oh HAI Yuppiechef!), they were recommended by a friend/family member, or I tried it once when feeling spontaneous and liked what I saw/got/etc.

Am I an advertising exec's nightmare?

So you think you can dance

I know I can't dance. I literally dance like a white girl. I cannot "twerk" or booty shake, and while I do have some rhythm, I'm pretty uncoordinated.

I used to be the one you would see on the dance floor, surreptitiously checking out the dancers around me and trying to mimic their moves. And I would do it badly. Shoot, a stoned squirrel was probably more graceful.

So dancing is not my strength. Big deal. I'm over it - I'm gonna go on that dance floor and stomp up a storm. I don't care if my dancing isn't "sexy". I don't need to be sexy for anyone other than Antisocial Husband, and I don't seem to be doing too badly with that ;)

Life is too short to care if people "like" your dancing or not. I figure that as long as I'm not giving anyone a black eye and I'm enjoying the music, then what's the big deal? Ok, strobe lights help a lot, and dancing to music you enjoy makes a difference too.

Evil Pickle, her boyfriend Metalsaur, Antisocial Husband and I are going to Metallica this weekend. And you can bet your ass I'm gonna stomp, head bang, flail my arms around and have fun with my friends. What more do you need?

A degree of sluggishness

Here's some shocking news - I don't have a degree. I know, it's unbelievable. I've got a (very very) outdated diploma, but that's about it.


At the beginning of the month, I sent through an application to Unisa to start studying for a BA in Languages and Literature. It looks like fun...and yes, I'm being dead serious. There are some very scrumptious looking subjects that I could sink my teeth into...

Unfortunately, I have not yet heard anything back from them. I've mailed them asking for feedback, and no response as yet. I really hope I get some soon. I would really like to do this.
Yeah, I know I couldn't make a career out of it, but I don't care. It looks like fun - and education should be fun too!

While I'm waiting, though, anybody know where I can get second hand Unisa books in Joburg? Maybe a library? :D

Religion is not violent

In light of the Boston bombings, people are again coming out with the bullshit that "Islam is violent! Islam is terrorism! Racist rabble!"

Let's get this straight: I'm not a religious person. I was raised Roman Catholic, but I don't trust any organised religion because of the idiotic asshats you find in every single group.

Religion in itself is not inherently violent. The core culture of most religions are "Don't be an asshole. Be awesome to each other. And don't be stupid either, geez!"

People forget that the so-called "holy writings" are all word of mouth stories in a foreign language spoken thousands of years ago. A fly dropping on the ancient texts can change the meaning of a word, it's sentence, and the whole subtext of that passage is completely misconstrued.

Not to mention that they're all written by people. It doesn't matter if their deity of choice was "speaking" through them, the nature of people will be woven through the text. That includes the strength, knowledge and compassion of people, as well as the weakness, violence and insecurity.

Psychopaths and sociopaths will kill and cause mayhem and violence and bloodshed - and they will do it in the name of whatever belief happens to spark with them, be it religion, famous people, music etc.

It is time to stop generalising and tarring everyone with the same brush. It's infantile and stupid. That would be like me saying "oh well, all men are just rapists." Wouldn't that piss you off, dude readers? Or an overseas friend of mine saying "oh well, all white South Africans are just racists."

Quite a few of these generalisations are offensive to me:

All people who listen to heavy metal are satanists.

All people who play computer/video games are violent.
All people who spend time on the internet are socially awkward nerds.
All women who wear makeup are easy whores.
All women who don't wear makeup have no pride in themselves.
All women who choose not to have children are not really women.
All people who watch *insert TV show here* are dribbling idiots.
All women who enjoy sex are dirty sluts.

You see what I mean? Generalizations are stupid. 

People need to grow up, buck up and engage that marvellous brain that they have. It's not that hard.

Bewbs

It's no secret, I'm chestily advantaged. It's not always an advantage - it's painful to go braless, and I have to wear 2 sports bras when I go to gym.

Even if you are a dainty chested little thing, it's a good idea to wear a sports bra if you're going to be doing any kind of running or jumping. Your little nubbins can bounce over 50% when bra-less. Fast forward ten years, and your perky little bee stings have turned into fried eggs.

You can do all the bench presses and pec flies in the world, they won't tighten a stretched ligament. Just like there aren't any exercises to make em bigger. You can either stuff your bra, get some falsies, or gain weight.

One thing pretty much every girl has in common though, is the fact that strapless bras are determined to become belts. Doesn't matter what bra size you are, doesn't matter if you get the Wonderbra SuperStick Strapless Titties 9000, it will still slide down to your navel.

 This results in you having to run to the bathroom every 30 minutes to pull your bra up. And then you get home, and you have painful red marks from the underwire that take a few hours to fade away.

Not to mention that the sizes don't seem to be a standard thing. I have a bra from a certain manufacturer that I bought online, in a size that I know for a fact fits me. I got the bra and...it's too small. Verily, my cups runneth over. I double checked the label - yep, same size as all my other bras. Which just goes to show, when it comes to your tit-sling, or over-shoulder-boulder-holder, it's best to try before you buy.

If you're stupid

Then what the hell are you doing reading my blog? I don't like stupid people. I'm actually allergic to stupid people - they make me break out in a rage.

I seriously should not read the comments section on news sites. Truly. It's a gathering of the lowest common denominator, using twisted logic and misappropriated quotes to justify their stupidity, bigotry and sheer flaming hatred.

I love the Internet. I truly do. But unfortunately, it's also becoming the intellectual equivalent of a zombie pit. A zombie pit that has a small island in the middle with a couple of living people. They try their best to fend off the rotting hands reaching for them, but for all their efforts and attempts to survive, they eventually get pulled in the heaving, seething mass of decaying flesh.

There is no real point in arguing on the Internet. Sure, it has some temporary satisfaction, like trying to eat a 1 metre diameter carnivore pizza. The first few slices are deeply gratifying, hitting the sweet spot.

But then you have another slice. And another. Those don't have the same enjoyable feeling as the first ones did. In fact, you kind of want to stop, but you can't, because you've come this far, you may as well carry on.

Now you're 3/4 done with the pizza. You're feeling bloated, uncomfortable, and you have the meat sweats. But you're going to finish this damn thing if it kills you. So you power through, and finish the pizza. But you don't feel good. You feel crap, and you probably waddle to the bathroom to throw up. For the next few days, you continue feeling crap. And that's what arguing on the internet is like.

So don't argue. Ignore the trolls. When the zombie apocalypse happens, stupid people will be amongst the first to go. *sigh*. If only.

If you are what you eat...

...then homophobes should stay the hell away from roast duck and roast goose. They're just some of the many animals that practice homosexuality.

So much for the "but homosexuality ain't NACHURAL" argument. I mean really, if you're against unnatural things, then why use an airplane? It's not natural for humans to fly! Or drive. Or wear make up, or dye your hair with artificial colouring, or eat food with artificial preservatives.

Just because it's different, doesn't always mean it's wrong. If, as a child, you rejected everything that was different, you'd still be breast feeding. And wearing nappies, because toilets are loud and scary and NEW and DIFFERENT.  (ew)

If it doesn't harm anyone, and it's between two consenting adults, who gives a flying fuck?

Rowr

As my fellow females will no doubt agree, there are some days where I wake up, and I literally feel sexier than Jessica Rabbit.

My hair is awesome and swooshy and shiny, my skin is not breaking out, my makeup is behaving and every outfit I try on is BA-BAM! My hips get the right amount of "hey there" sway, and I'm all over Anti-Social Husband...well, more than usual. Hey. He's super hot. Shush :P

And then, something happens, and I go from DAYUM to just...darn...and I feel like this:

And it's so damn hard to bounce back from that.

Do guys get that? I mean, I don't think Anti-Social Husband ever feels like he's a gross lumpylumposaurus, but he doesn't strut around the house half-naked flexing his muscles either....I kind of wish he would...

Ahem.

So, male readers - do you have days where you feel sexier than *insert sex symbol here* and days where you feel like Mama June's older, fatter, uglier brother?

IT'S ON THE INTERNET...

SO IT MUST BE TRUE!!!

The power of seeing words on a screen is astounding. If I were to walk up to a person, and tell them "Hey, don't use the tomato sauce at Wimpy. They caught a guy injecting his HIV+ blood into it, so you don't know if they're safe or not"; I can guarantee you that I would get a funny look and slowly backed away from.

But send it to them in a mail, and all hell breaks loose! They forward it to everyone they know, exclaiming that they're going to stop going to all Wimpy restaurants until they make their tomato sauce bottles tamper proof rabble rabble rabble.

It's not that hard to tell a hoax from a real story, people. The lack of defining details such as location, branch, date, time, police spokesperson, description of the suspect is a very big indicator that it's a fairy tale.

As for the missing kids hoaxes - no matter how cute the kid is in the picture, all real missing kids bulletins will have information about what they were wearing, where they were last seen, who you can contact etc etc. Also the whole "Facebook will pay for this kid's operation" thing? Never going to happen. It's like those emails you used to get saying that Bill Gates would give you $5 for every forward of that email. It's logistically impossible. Furthermore, the pictures of those poor babies are used without the permission of their families. It's disgusting to use a picture of their child to dupe people.

I'll even make this easy for you:

www.snopes.com
www.hoax-slayer.com

Those sites will help you figure out what is a hoax and what is not, until your common sense muscle has developed enough to flex by itself.

Just so happy

On a couple of occasions, while walking the Pooch, I see this guy.
He seems so happy. Flying along on his skateboard, listening to his music with a broad grin on his face - he seems unshackled by the trivial bullshit we worry ourselves with.

He's not just riding his skateboard down the road. He's swaying and moving to the music - he's skate dancing. Whatever cares and worries he may have, at that moment, they are insignificant. His happiness and contentment beams out of his body like lightwaves, and it never fails to make me grin.

You don't see that kind of happiness very often. Not from adults, anyway. As kids, we're living in the moment - chasing after bubbles and twirling until we're so dizzy we fall over. And then we get up and do it again. And then we grow up, and we put on an Adult Suit, and fill the pockets with Worries and Cares and Opinions and Responsibilities, and put on our What Will The Neighbours Think deodorant.

I'm not saying quit your job and stop paying your bills. Some worries, cares and responsibilities are good. You need to be balanced. But you do need to stop caring about the opinions of strangers. SkateDancer doesn't care if the general public will look at him like he's loony for dancing his way down the road. He's happy, he's content, and it's not hurting anyone.

We all should be so happy. We all should be so free. We all should beam out love and life.

Don't we deserve to, after all?

There's something wrong with society

It's ridiculous really. It's really fucking ludicrous. If a woman goes to a bar, that apparently means it's ok to hit on her, and call her a bitch/slut/cunt/whore/whatever when she turns you down.
Never mind the fact that she's there with her friends, having some fun and gossiping. The mere fact that she's out of the house kitchen means that you have every right to hit on her and insult her when she says "No thanks".

Better yet, calling a rape victim a slut, after a picture of her gang rape was shared online, is apparently ok. The law has done sweet fuck all about it, despite the fact that she was 15 at the time of the rape. Instead of protecting her, they did a perfunctory investigation, shrugged and went "Eh, whatever". Meantime, the people of her town felt no remorse in bullying her. Nothing happened to the rapists, of course. They were just boys being boys.

So many shades of Steubenville. It's disgusting. I have to wonder if those people would have the same reaction if it happened to their daughter/sister/mother/aunt/grandmother/cousin. I'm almost completely certain they would change their tune.

If I were to have a son, and he raped someone...I would pay for his victim's lawyer, and get the best one available. If I were to have a daughter, and she was raped...the rapist had better hope the police get him before I do. I have many sharp knives, family members in medicine who can help me get hold of all sorts of interesting drugs, an over active imagination, and a husband who really enjoys slasher/horror/gore films.

Fuck rape culture. The hell with rapists, the hell with "slut-shamers", the hell with legal systems that allow fuckwits to get away with that sort of cockery.

Driving: It's not rocket science

There's a 4 way stop street outside my house. At least a few times a month, I come thisclose to being T-boned on the driver's side by some mouthbreathing dimwit who couldn't be bothered to stop.

I actually had one woman, talking on her phone, stop a few centimetres before hitting me. I'm yelling out of my window, and she's merrily carrying on her conversation on the phone. Her passenger was making all the obligatory apologetic gestures, and eventually prodded her off the phone, where she gave me the dead fish face.

You know, dead fish face? Mouth ajar, entire face is slack, and complete lack of any comprehension or brain activity behind the eyes?
 If it wasn't for the fact that my puppy was in the car, I may very well have jumped out of my car and kicked her headlights in.

I've already kicked a car for nearly hitting me while I was on a pedestrian crossing. I walk to gym most days, and there is a pedestrian crossing at the complex where my gym is. If I'm halfway across the crossing, that means cars must stop. It's not that hard, I'm a fast walker, it will literally only take 5 seconds of your time, you inconsiderate ass hat. 

Shoot, just yesterday morning, some pompous twit in a Merc made eye contact with me while I was on the crossing, and closed his window when I yelled "Hello! This is a pedestrian crossing, dude, you're supposed to STOP!"

Driving is not hard, people. Stopping at a stop street takes maybe 30 seconds out of your life. Which is less time than if you were to jump the stop street, and hit someone. That takes a couple hours out of your life.

I've been driving for nearly 15 years. My car has had 3 accidents:

1) Someone turned into my car when I was going straight and had right of way - other driver being an non observant twunt
2) A deer tried to commit suicide on my car
3) Someone reversed into my car in a parking lot

None of those were due to negligence on my side, as you can see. So if I can manage to drive with consideration and awareness for those around me, why the hell can't everyone else?

Buyer Beware!

I do a fair amount of online shopping. I don't understand why some local online retailers charge the exorbitant prices that they do, and still charge for delivery on top of that.

Point in case: I was looking for a yoga mat, so I thought I'd poke around online.  I found a "Yoga for beginners" kit that looked quite promising. But the price. The price just seemed a bit steep.

So I looked at the online store of a local sports retailer. And boy was I shocked to see that their price was about 1/3 of the other retailer.

In fact, here's a screen grab of the Super Expensive and probably Gold Coated product (taken on 8 April 2013 around 15:00):

And a screen grab of the Plebian Dry Bread and Water product (taken at the same time as the above one):

(Click the pic to make it bigger). It's the exact same product. Mat, block, strap thingie and DVD. Same manufacturer, the works.
Retailer1 even has the cheek to claim that normal Retail Price of the Gold Plated product is R1 430, but because they love you so much, they can slash it to R1 261.

Meanwhile, local sports retailer is offering it for R399. Ok, they'll charge you for delivery, but unless they charge R862 for delivery, you're still making a pretty decent savings.

So what is my point? Shop around. Check out more than one online shop. Any online retailer that offers free delivery? Instant A. Any online retailer where you can use E-bucks? Instant A. I've found Retailer1 to be notorious for hiking up their prices. I've done a number of price comparisons, and every time they've wound up being at least 25% more expensive.

Just because you're shopping online, doesn't mean you need to accept the first offer.

Nuff said.

Potty mouth

Antisocial Husband and I have been married for over 2 years, and together for nearly 9 years. Something I'm weirdly proud of, is that during our entire relationship, we offer each other complete privacy in the loo.

I'm dead serious. Even though we live in a one bathroom townhouse, we have never used the toilet in front of each other. It's not a case of not being comfortable with each other. We most definitely are *nudge nudge wink wink*.

It's more a case of keeping a little mystery. I kind of like it. I'm no Elliot from Scrubs, but we've seen each other ill and grumpy and sweaty with no make up and hair sticking up in a weird "I just stuck my finger in the power outlet" style, so it's nice to keep that one little thing private. We even managed to tag team the bathroom on our honeymoon when we got food poisoning from the one hotel we stayed at. (Side note: Don't trust a buffet in a mountain resort where they depend on a dinky little train for supplies. Not only do they probably get food supplies once every few days, they also only had those fucking horrible foam mattress pine-slat beds that gave Antisocial Husband the most incredible back ache known to mankind. Twin beds on your honeymoon does not make for romance *side look*).

I know there are couples that have no problem with the one half hopping onto the loo while the other is having a bath. Please know that I don't think that's weird at all - my parents are like that. You go with what works for you, after all.

I suppose that's another thing to add to the list of "Why I maybe perhaps probably won't have kids". Friends of mine with kids have told me that you can pretty much kiss toilet privacy g'bye. I know I would probably freak out and completely overreact in the process of evicting the kid, and the sprog would then think that a completely natural thing is wrong and bad and maybe develop some kind of complex; festering in his/her psyche to the point where they can only express their disgust and confusion through an elaborate torture and murder serial killer thing. And when they get caught, their defense would be "I was potty trained wrong."

There are only bad owners

I am a dog owner. He's super awesome and amazing - 1/2 Labrador, 1/2 Border Collie. He's turning 8 this month :D

The poll I'm showing above was on News24. I'm glad to see that the majority are sensible and know that a dog is only as dangerous as its owner.

I walk my dog pretty regularly, and on our walks we meet other dogs. I can always tell when the owner has bought a breed that they know nothing about, through the behaviour of the dog. There was one couple that bought a German Shepard, but had done no research whatsoever into the breed. The female of the couple expressed surprise at how big the dog was getting, and claimed that he wasn't trainable, but they'd never taken him to puppy classes.

My dog is no angel, but he's never attacked anyone nor another dog. He may sniff the dog quite vociferously, or growl, but no biting. Why? Because of the following:

1. He's on a leash, and is leash trained
2. He has been trained to sit, down, give paw, speak and eat on command
3. He knows I'm the Alpha

Raising a dog is just like raising a child. They need discipline, rules and boundaries. Sure, it's a cute little ball of fluff now, and the most damage it can do is chew your shoes. But someday soon, that itty bitty squeaking fluffball will be full grown. And even if it's just a 3 kg toy breed, they can still do some damage with their teeth. We all know, mosquitoes aren't big, but their bites can kill you. Size doesn't denote deadliness.

Certainly some dogs have bad reputations. Those reputations are generally because of negligent owners, abusive owners...A dog is only as good as its owner. I'm willing to bet, if a dog is violent, then in most cases its owner is violent too. What's pathetic is, if a dog attacks a person without provocation, that dog is put down, and nothing happens to the owner. I feel that the owner should be banned from owning any further animals, and slapped with a hefty fine that will be donated to animal shelters.

When someone labels another human as "dangerous" or "aggressive" because of their skin colour or nationality, it's racism. But it's perfectly ok to say that English Pitbull is going to rip your face off because...because of what? The fact that it was originally bred as a fighting dog, but that was hundreds and hundreds of years ago?

People don't have that preconception about daschunds. No, they're cute and cuddly and little and harmless. Harmless little dogs that were bred for hunting. Just like all terrier breeds, which are also bred for hunting mammals. You don't hear people pontificating that those dogs should be banned because they're dangerous, do you? Simply because they were bred for an aggressive sport that involved killing centuries ago, doesn't mean that they're not suitable pets now.

When my puppy was in puppy obedience school, we interacted with a 6 month old Rottweiler and her owner. RottiOwner had 2 other full grown Rottis at home, as well as a toddler daughter. Because RottiOwner took the time, trouble and money to train his dogs, his daughter was in absolutely no danger whatsoever. In fact, he relayed this story to me:

One day, he was in his driveway washing his car. His little girl was playing in the garden, and MammaRotti was keeping a watchful eye. After a while, the little girl got bored with her toys, and started to toddle towards the road. As soon as she was within a couple of meters of the road, MammaRotti leaped up, sprinted towards the little girl, picked her up by the back of the dress and carried her back into the house. She then proceeded to block the door with her body, and the little girl had nary a scratch on her. MammaRotti knew the road was not a safe place, and protected her human puppy.

Does that sound like a dangerous, volatile dog? Simply because she's a Rottweiler doesn't mean she'll viciously attack anyone and everyone.

I suppose it's sad that I tend to have more faith in animals than I do in people. But mostly because the majority of the human population tend to be ragingly stupid thundercunts.

Can't even imagine...

There's a neurological disorder called Amusia. It affects 4% of the population congenitally, and it affects how you experience music. For some people, it is just a noise, a cacophony. For other people, they cannot tell if a song has an out of tune note, they don't recognise tunes.

Some people have reported that listening to music is just emotionless. They don't feel moved by it.

I can't imagine living like that. I adore music. I literally cannot go one day without listening to music.

What's scary is, amusia can be both congenital (it cannot be explained by brain lesions, hearing loss etc), and it can be acquired via trauma, illness etc.

So that means that a potential side effect of any head trauma is the loss of musical enjoyment. I honestly don't know what I would do if that happened to me. It's a little scary to think about.

I guess honestly, I would rather go blind than deaf.

It's not odontophobia if you're only scared of ugly teeth

I have a thing about teeth. I suspect it could be from the five years of braces I had in primary school, and how horribly squif and ugly my teeth were beforehand...

If someone has skew teeth, or horribly discoloured teeth, or rotting teeth, they're immediately unattractive to me. It doesn't matter if they have an amazing 6 pack, or the greatest personality on earth - if your teeth are ugly, they will be the only thing I will be able to focus on.

Braces are not a big deal for me, as long as the toofies are clean. Hell, when I met Antisocial Husband, he had braces, and anyone that knows me, knows that I think Antisocial Husband is hotter than the surface of the Sun *leer*.

A surefire way to make me cringe in a movie is to show a torture scene where they're pulling out teeth, or smashing the mouth in and showing it in full, splintered, gory, bloody detail...*shudder*.

Think about it though. Being fastidious about dental hygiene is a very good thing. After all, when you're snogging someone, the last thing you need is to swallow their tooth...

Look at the picture below:

Imagine that mouth coming in for a kiss. Cracked, scabby lips quivering in an expectant pucker...There's probably a gust of rancid breath...

EW! EW! EW!!!

I need a battery acid shower, stat...

*skincrawling*