Where do babies come from?

So, if you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll know that my parents are virgins*, and I was dropped down the chimney by a pterodactyl. My Dad was kind enough to share the recipe he and SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed - aka Mom) used to attract the pterodactyl who delivered me:

1 leg lamb, left in the sun for 5 days

3 snoek, ditto

3 large cloves garlic, grated

I large piece ginger, grated

8 cups stock, left in the sun for 5 days

1 t salt

3 t grated pepper

When the meat starts smelling, cut into small pieces, fry briefly in old non-virgin olive oil, take one teacup of dog pee, mix well, put under a tree in the shade and add a few rotten eggs. You will have to taste it first to make sure that the taste is right, but experience will eventually help. Arrange artistically with a bright pink plastic pig next to it and wait.

So there you have it. If you feel like having a kid one day, follow the instructions above and within time, you too can have a child like me!




*Yes, I know they're not really virgins. But I really don't want to think about my parents making the beast with two backs, thanks!