Such a taboo

Seriously - out of all the bodily functions, I think men have a bigger problem with periods, and the associated paraphernalia that goes with them, than anything else.

They'll happily guffaw at fart jokes, poop jokes, pee jokes, boob jokes, penis jokes, pussy jokes, but omigawd, mention the P or M or T word, and an uncomfortable silence settles in the immediate area. Seriously? You'll happily video tape your buddy projectile vomiting into the pool, but you won't buy your girlfriend tampons? I still remember boys at high school freaking out when a girl took a pad (with wings!) out of her bag to give to a friend.

I promise, we're not gross or unclean when menstruating. You won't shrivel up and die if you touch us during that time. It's not like opening the Ark. You should be glad, actually - it's confirmation that you're not going to be responsible for a whole other person for at least two decades.

"But she's so grumpy and touchy and bitchy" you say. Well, for the first couple of days, I think she has a right to be a little grumpy. Just imagine that little dude from Kid Rock's "band" has taken up residence in your midsection, and is practising karate. Wearing spiky shoes. Covered in cayenne pepper.

But then again, unless she has a severe hormone issue, that doesn't give her the right to rip your head off when you timidly offer her some peppermint tea because "OMIGAWD I HATE PEPPERMINT TEA IF YOU LOVED ME YOU'D KNOW I WANT CHAMOMILE!!!" I can't stand women who do that. It's only human to be a little snappy, but don't cock the sawn-off shotgun because he didn't immediately notice your new shoes.

Maybe I'm just desensitized because I was raised in a medical household, but I have no problem telling Asshat Ex Husband "Honey! Guess what! Yay, I'm not pregnant! Damn these cramps are awkward". We discuss birth control, take it in turns buying condoms, so why not let him know that I'm on my period? Ok, I've never sent him to buy tampons, mostly because:
a) I generally plan ahead and don't run out, and
b) he would probably buy the wrong brand anyway.

On a personal note, I think that having monthly periods is a bit of overkill. If you consider the fact that most girls start it around 9 or 10, and the average age of menopause is around 51, that's about 40 years of menstruating. Assume that she has 2 kids, so that's 2 years off periods, yay! So 38 years of menses - which is roughly 450 periods, give or take variations in her cycle. The average amount of blood lost in Jane Doe's period is about 40 mls. Which means I can look forward to losing a total of 18 liters of blood through my vagina - Yay!

Seriously, talk about overkill.