For example, forgiving doesn't mean that you're erasing the past and giving someone a clean slate. It means that you let go of the resentment you have against that person. Continuing to hold a grudge means that not only are you still expending energy on that person and what they did, you're letting them squat, rent-free, in your head and memories.
Forgiving that person doesn't mean you now need to become their closest friend, but it does mean that you can carry on with your life without expending any further emotional or mental energy on that person.
It also doesn't mean that you must now forget what you've learned in that experience. There's not much point in repeating that over and over again. Think of it this way - you don't hold a grudge against the stove for the burn you got on your hand, but you remember that touching it's hot elements is not a good idea. Know what I mean?
The reason why I bring this up is that a little while back, someone that I cut out of my life tried to weasel their way back in. They were under the impression that forgiving is the same as being friends again, which it isn't. I forgave this person only because I realised that by holding onto the grudge, they were still in my life in some form, even if it was resentful memories. The moment I forgave them, I barely gave them another thought.
I always like to think that love and hate/resentment are two sides of the same coin. You might not like that person, but you're still expending energy on them, aren't you? The best revenge is a life well lived, with indifference to the person that hurt you. Not only can they see that you're happy, content and doing well, they can see that they don't feature in any part in your life, thoughts, actions or emotions.
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