Why, brain, WHY

You know when you have a really weird dream? Like a really, fucked up weird dream?

Do you ever wake up afterwards with the emotions displayed above?

I surely do. Some of my dreams leave me wondering if I'm a latent psychopath who is just too lazy to kill people. Or better yet, dreams where I dream about people in my life, and I wake up pissed off at them for what they did in the dream.

Case in point, I dreamt Antisocial Husband not only cheated on me, but moved the wench into our house before telling me about her. I gave him such a filthy glare when I woke up, and he was awfully confused until I huffily explained to him why his skin was bubbling from my dirty looks. He was rather bemused...

Or what about those super-real yet surreal nightmares? The only nightmare that ever caused me to literally wake up screaming was when I dreamt I was lying in our bed, staring at the ceiling. And on the ceiling was this big, swinging, pulsing grey woven egg-sac. Next thing you know, it explodes and spiders started raining down on me. *shudder* Worst nightmare ever!

So baked!

So, anyone that knows me IRL, knows I have an addiction. To baking. I love baking. It's a really great creative outlet for me, and my neighbours and friends have this love/hate relationship with me...mostly because I say "Hi! How are you? I baked, have some noms, kthxbai!"

I really like baking cupcakes and cookies. I'll do the occasional cake, but my decorating skills are not quite up there yet.
 You can do some really awesome stuff with different colours of royal icing, cookies and a toothpick...

And of course, cupcakes are super nommy. Heck, a friend of mine has asked me to make cupcakes for her April baby shower, which I feel is a huge compliment.

Some baking I did for my birthday last year:
On the left - vanilla buttermilk cupcakes with salted fudge filling and swiss meringue frosting. On the right - mexican chilli cupcakes with chocolate buttercream frosting.

Chocolate cake, with home-made marshmallow as frosting, smothered in chocolate ganache. I made this for the "apocalypse" day :P

Combined vanilla and chocolate buttermilk cupcakes with vanilla bean buttercream frosting.

I currently only have a stupid little oven that has space for only one rack, so I can't bake as much as I would like to. And even though people have suggested I do this as a living, I don't think I would. I love baking, but I would probably not deal with, say, bridezillas very well. Or momzillas. Or any kind of 'zilla that will make up a complaint to get attention or a discount.

But it's fun for a hobby, and always makes for a good birthday present :D

Quit being such a fucking victim

Everyone has met at least one person like this. Everything happens to them, but it's never "their" fault. Any advice or suggestions on how to fix the issue is met with more buts than the average strip club has. Nothing ever works out, nothing ever goes their way. That person is the Eternal Victim.

I got rid of my EV last year, thankfully. I didn't know that person was a Victim when we first met, I just thought "hey, someone pretty cool! Awesome!".
Boy, did I learn. Waaah waaah waaah waaah.

Bitching about money, and not having enough. Dumbass, you've maxed out 4 credit cards, and you work 20 hours a week at a minimum wage job. Get a second job and stop buying crap you don't need!

Bitching about health. Quit buying junk food, drink more water and cut out the sugary sodas. And then you'll save even more money.

Bitching about not being able to sleep. Maybe try some exercise and cutting down on the aforementioned sugary sodas and, I dunno, getting into an actual sleep pattern?

Bitching about constantly losing friends. Well gee, I wonder why that is!

But no. Nothing was ever Victim's fault. There was a conspiracy, people are working against Victim, nothing they do makes a difference, blah blah blah blah. It was so exhausting being friends with this person, as I'm normally pretty much "Hey, I know why I'm in this situation, I have no-one to blame but myself, so lemme kick my own ass into gear." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't - but I try hard not to get into the Victim mind set. And thankfully Antisocial Husband helps with that.

 Maintaining this friendship was draining and potentially damaging to my psyche. The day I decided to sever all ties with Victim, it felt like the sun was coming out after weeks of dark clouds.

If you have someone like that in your life, I strongly suggest that you try and get rid of that emotional leech. Life is too short to spend it with people like that.

Do you ever...

wake up some mornings and feel the urge to go back to sleep?

I do. I'm now apparently a grand master of pressing the snooze button while sleeping. This results in a very groggy me. This means I'm more prone to losing my temper and listening to the black cat on the other side of the window pane. BURN THEM ALL!

It's almost hilarious how annoying little things can become. The geyser pipe malfunctioning. The oven tripping the entire house when you turn it on. The lack of storage space anywhere in a townhouse (whoever designs townhouses should be forced to live in them). How I can't open the dishwasher all the way because of the way the kitchen is designed. Being reminded that one of my favourite webcomics is going to end in less than 2 months. *sigh*

On normal, non-snooze-button-pressing days, things like that are still annoying, but still easily shrugged off. It's like the snooze  button coats you in emotional tar and everything becomes sticky.

Ugh.

I need to stop pressing the snooze button.

My dog's more awesome than your dog

Exhibit A:

He sleeps next to my bed and keeps me safe from the bogeyman

Exhibit B:

He waits "patiently" for his treats and looks adorable while doing so.

Exhibit C:

He makes sleeping look like an art form. Seriously. You could print this and frame this and hang it on your wall.






Exhibit D:

Here he is, making sure the wall doesn't fall over. Isn't he clever and strong? :D









Exhibit E:

He reminds me that I have to walk him or he'll destroy EVERYTHING...


Exhibit F:

He watches carefully while I'm baking - without him, all my cakes would flop.


So there you have it. Indisputable evidence that my dog is WAY better than yours. He's now going to try and figure out how to solve world hunger.

Best. Movie. Ever

 

A few weeks back, I was watching The 5th Element with some friends. This movie was made 16 years ago (Oh gods I feel old now), and it still works so well today.

First of all, the special effects don't seem to have dated at all. I think it's because they stuck to mostly old school costumes and prosthetics.

Secondly, the costuming was really well done by Jean Paul Gaultier. Shall we feast our eyes on this?

I'm pretty sure many an adolescent boy and girl hit puberty thinking about Leeloo in the bandage costume.

Let us not forget the brilliant combination of comedy, drama, suspense and action. Ruby Rhod is screamingly funny:

I believe this is also the movie that started Milla Jovovich's career as an ass-kicking hottie (she's the only reason why I watch the Resident Evil movies):

Some proof of the drama and suspense:

And one of my favourite movie villains (Gary Oldman is just deliciously evil in this role, it's ridiculous).

There is just so much right with this movie, and it was the first DVD I ever bought. I probably watch it twice a year, and I enjoy it every time :) If you haven't watched this yet...WHY NOT??

What's your favourite movie, and why?

If you love the Pope, don't read this

This is the new Pope's view on gay rights.

Frankly, I think it's fucking bullshit that some doddery, bordering on senile old man preaches hatred and fear  because it's something different. How the hell is gay marriage destroying the family? One would think that marriages like Britney Spears' 55 hour Vegas marriage, or Kim Kardashian's 72 day marriage would provoke more outrage from the Church, as that does more damage to the sanctity of marriage than gay marriage does. But no, apparently two adults who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together is destroying the family.

Gay adoption is discrimination against children? Why? Because they have two moms, or two dads? What about inter-racial adoption?  People will discriminate against others because of hair colour, skin colour, eye colour, age, gender, height, weight, income, the area they live in, etc etc etc.

Children will apparently be "deprived of their human development given by a father and a mother." So what about single parents? Must they now rush out and grab someone off the street to marry so that their child will not be "deprived"? What if Mom left Dad because Dad is a violent drug addict who beat the ever living shit out her and Junior? How is a violent marriage, or a loveless marriage in any way benevolent to the development of a child?

In the meantime, the Vatican is vigorously covering up the growing number of reports of priests abusing children, or doing their best to discredit the victims. I'm sure Jesus didn't mean "Suffer little children to come unto me" that literally. Really? The Popes spend all their time telling families what birth control they can use, telling women what they can do with their bodies, and judging adults for loving other adults of the same gender, but they can't do diddly-squat about their priests molesting, raping and abusing children in the Church?

Yeah. I think Tim Minchin can sum up my feelings about the Popes perfectly:

(Lyrics Here)